Monday, July 28, 2008

Underneath the Covers

I remember when I was young and I used to get so scared of the dark. I thought that there were raptors under my bed and that they were trying to eat me. Now I know that sounds irrational but no matter how irrational it seems I was terrified of them. I remember that I would pull the covers over my head because that was the only way I could get away from them. I felt safe but then again I was in constant fear that they would reach up, grab me, and eat me. I would cry and sometimes I would stay under there so long, refusing to get out for fear that they would eat me, that I would get drenched in sweat. I remember my dad coming and sitting on the edge of the bed. He would reach up and slowly pull the covers back revealing my curled up, wet, and trembling body. I was afraid, and he would reach down and pull me up, laying my head on his chest, as he gently wrapped his warm and protecting arms around me. Here is where I found true peace and safety. In my father’s arms, and though it took fear and pain to get me there; that is where I found my true safety and comfort. It can be like that in our own lives sometimes, I know it is in mine, we get so scared and afraid that we hide under our covers so the pain and problems can’t get us. We search for the temporary protection when we could have permanent renewal.

Underneath The Covers
I keep running away from my Pain because I’m scared to face it. I run to my bed and try to fall asleep because then at least I escape for a moment no matter how small. I run and hide, and then cautiously I peek out again to see if my Pain gone, but then in seeing its continuous existence, quickly hide again. I dare not face it; I dare not look into the dark swallowing pit of my fear and anguish. The epitome of my sorrow. And yet somehow here under my covers I feel safe for a moment and though brief in satisfaction it is a moment of safety. Here under my covers, my tears fall into pools of sorrow on my pillow and the shrill sound of weeping gradually falls on the ears of that which is chasing me and it grins and licks its lips waiting to devour me the moment I set foot out from under my covers. I cling to my covers, I call for You. I beg for Your embrace to come and comfort me, to gently hold me and wipe away my tears; and You wait…for that moment longer until I am completely broken before You. Then when I am at that point of utter despair You come and chase away my predator. Then You come and sit on the edge of my bed and gently pull the covers, drenched with my tears, back to reveal my shaking body. I hang my head in shame. But You in all Your greatness condescend to me and wrap Your grace covered arms around me silencing my sobs and wiping away my tears. I am intoxicated by Your love and as I get lost in Your embrace You carefully put the broken pieces of my heart back together again. And once again I am whole. I am whole.



Proverbs 18:10 (the message)
God's name is a place of protection— good people can run there and be safe.

No comments: