Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fighting the Joy Robbers

Today was a very rough day. I’ve been so, I don’t even know, drained from every area. Emotionally I’m somewhere between insanity and insecurity. Physically I feel like I could collapse at any moment. Spiritually I am so far from the place God wants me to be I can’t even see what direction I’m supposed to go anymore. I guess today was the snapping point on my rubber band like life. I just don’t understand things anymore. Maybe it’s just that I grew up around people with regard for respect, work ethic, and common sense. Although all this is true, there is another truth; one that I can’t change as much as I want to. I can’t control any of this. I can’t be the one in authority or the one who serves the justice. There is, however, one thing I can control; how much joy I allow to be stolen from me. Any joy that is taken from me is only by my permission. When I place hope in something that may or may not be here tomorrow I put my joy in a place that is easy to steal from. It’s like leaving a tray of brownies in a high school classroom unattended- it won’t last long. When I place my hope in Christ my joy is in His hands. That means- God’s in control. Scary, huh? I’ve never been too great at that whole letting God be God thing. For some reason I tend to think I could do a better job, which I am reminded over and over again is not true. He’s a better God then me and that is definitely something to be joyful about.

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