Be Near, Oh God

It’s a new year and I’ve made a resolution. Well it’s not a really a resolution; I never really understood the point of a resolution. It’s more like a new focus. This past year the one thing that I’ve been in a constant struggle with is my relationships. I tend to “inhale with great force” at relationships and I’ve never really understood why. I mean I pretty much put everything into my relationships. The way I show people that I care about them is by investing my time, heart, and service to them. So you can see why it always surprised me when my relationships fell apart. Being at college and away from all the friends I’ve ever know or had has not helped out my relationship issues one bit. It frustrates me and I find myself falling apart because of it. After being home and having some down time to slow down and reflect, I’ve discovered the reason behind my failure at friendships. The problem is rooted not in my relationships with other people but rather in my relationship with God. I’ve strayed away from him quite a bit. See, I got a little frustrated with him and pulled away from his embrace. I’m beginning to realize that if I don’t get my relationship with God straight then the rest of my relationships will follow that pattern. Jesus is the center and everything else flows out from that. So, how exactly do I fix my relationship with God? I think it actually requires me taking more of a passive role, because every time I attempt to control the situation I push God out of his place and mess everything up. I have to be willing to let go. I have to do the opposite of what I naturally want to do. I give up; I allow for weakness; I ditch fear; I follow instead of lead; I make mistakes; I become humble. Humility is what it really comes down to in the end. Humbly coming before Christ, everyday, and acknowledging my inadequacy. It is a constant refocusing of my eyes onto Him and away from me. I think that might mean that I lose some things in the search for Him, but I think I’m ok with that. I will wake every morning with one prayer- Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us; Your nearness is to us our good. Be near, oh God, Be near, oh God of us; your nearness is to us our good, our good.